


Unspoken

by TooManyThoughts



Category: Bleach
Genre: I Tried, M/M, One Shot, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 16:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooManyThoughts/pseuds/TooManyThoughts
Summary: Shunsui is questioning why he is getting ignored by Jūshirō... things happen





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so... sorry :)
> 
> M/M: don't like, don't read
> 
> I don't own bleach... If I did, I would definitely change the pairings ;D
> 
> I hope you like it... there's not enough love for this pairing
> 
> As for the grammatical errors... oops

There was a brown haired man walking into his office with a faraway look in his eyes, it was clear that he was inside his own head, not realizing what was going on around him. His subordinates were looking at him, some with concern and others with curiosity. The usually flirtatious Shinigami Captain was acting uncharacteristically stoic. He’s usually bubbly and teasing, never serious except for when he absolutely has to be. His lieutenant was about to ask what was wrong, but he turned away and went silently into his office, not wanting to talk to anyone about what was troubling him. Everyone was uneasy, they usually relied on their light-hearted Captain to keep up an optimistic mood. Now, everyone was curious as to why Captain Shunsui was in such a somber mood.

  
Not detecting the questioning atmosphere, Shunsui continued thinking about the past few weeks, trying to understand what went wrong. His best friend, the 13th Captain of the Court Guard Squads, was acting strangely around him, even going as far as avoiding him. Never, in the hundreds of years that he has known Jūshirō, has he ever stopped talking to him without a clear reason to do so. Shunsui wanted to demand that Jūshirō tell him what he did wrong, but thought that he didn’t have the right. After all, Shunsui has been lying to him for a very long time. But he could never tell him. If he did, then he’d lose his best friend forever, and that was worse than anything he could imagine. After living for as long as he has, he knows that people, friends or lovers or family, won’t stay in his life forever. However, he is willing to sacrifice anything to keep Jūshirō in his life. Without him, his life would be following a path with no direction, no destination. So, he stays quiet. Choked down the words that tried to escape his mouth every time he saw the long haired man.

  
He continued working throughout the day, not really realizing what he was doing, going on autopilot to make it through the day. Nanao was growing more and more concerned for her Captain by every passing hour. He was actually working, getting caught up with the mounds of paperwork that he had been procrastinating to finish. But there he was, completing his work. She knows that she does not show her feelings for her Captain and constantly berates him for being a slacker, but she does care about him. She knows that this melancholic mood can not stay.

  
“Captain, may I ask why you are acting so down today?” Nanao asked cautiously. To her surprise, Shunsui flinched, as if he hadn’t noticed her presence. But that’s impossible, he was a Captain for a reason, he could detect spiritual pressure from miles away and tell if it was friend or foe. Is he really that distracted…?

  
“Nothing is wrong, Nanao, I just was lost in my thoughts. Sorry for worrying you,” he spoke quietly. She knew something must be very wrong, he never spoke to her with such politeness and emotionless tone.

  
“All do respect, I don’t believe you. You didn’t detect me in the room even though I had not even tried to hide my spiritual pressure, then you speak to me as if we are strangers. Now, tell me why you are so distracted!” The Lieutenant insisted.

  
“ Like I said, no-” She stopped him before he could even think of finishing, “I tried not to use this against you, but do you realize what danger you are putting your squad in right now?” He looked at her curiously, not knowing where she was going with this. She sighed and continued “You are distracted, not noticing anything around you. With what’s been happening lately, with Aizen and Ichigo, you cannot afford to let your guard down. You have a squad to run!” Once she finished, she looked to find a pained face filled with too much guilt. He couldn’t do anything right. He can’t do right by his best friend. Can’t run his squad. He didn’t know what to do. Nanao sighed, she came here to comfort her Captain, not make him feel worse.

  
“I’m sorry, that’s not what I came here to say,” she looked genuinely sorry for upsetting her Captain. She looked at him questionably.

  
“It’s alright, Nanao, I deserved that… I just don’t know what to do anymore,” once he said this, he thought about the man he loves. He couldn’t help it. Once he started to think about him, the thoughts flooded through relentlessly. His stunning, long, white hair that matched with his pale complexion. His slender, gentle hands that cared for so many. The smile that was always on his face and the grin that makes anyone want to smile in return. Honestly, it was inevitable for him to fall in love with the man. When he was younger, he never considered the fact that he might fall in love, he didn’t want to. He grew up believing that falling in love would break him. After all, everything that falls eventually gets broken.

  
Oh, how his younger self would be laughing at him! Truthfully, he would always choose to be in love with Jūshirō, it was the greatest gift life had offered him. Realizing that Nanao was still looking at him, observing everything about him, he tried to put back on the mask that he perfected a long time age.

  
“I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s my problem after all,” Shunsui said softly with a small smile on his face. He knew that it didn’t convince her, but couldn’t bring himself to care that much. She started to leave before saying,“If you need to talk to him, then go, I’ll keep everyone here in check.” He looked at her surprised. Had she figured it out, was he really that transparent? Oh well, he got his work done for the day so there was no reason to stay in the office.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
Shunsui decided that he would go for a walk after Nanao practically kicked him out of his own office. Well, he deserved it, but still. He was walking around a park where no one was to be seen. That was to be expected seeing as though no one really knew about the long forgotten, abandoned park. In fact, it was almost as old as Shinsui. There was a slight chill in the air. It wasn’t quite as gentle as a fall breeze, but it was still pleasant. With him lost in thought, he almost didn’t catch the glimpse of white that belonged to the very man that was consuming his thoughts. But he did, and he couldn’t help but to go after him.

  
“Jūshirō! Wait up,” Shinsui called out. His best friend turned to him with shock written across his face. Clearly he hadn’t suspected that Shunsui would be here. Nonetheless, he smiled at the man out of habit.

  
“Hello, Shunsui, what are you doing here, you usually don’t come here anymore?” asked the pale Shinigami. Though he still wore his signature smile, Shunsui saw that it was forced. That fact hurt him a lot more than he thought it would. Jūshirō never had to fake a smile around him. Until now, that is.

  
“I had a lot of my mind and couldn’t really focus. Nanao actually told me to leave so I could gather my thoughts” answered the long haired man after realizing that he waited too long to respond. Jūshirō looked at him with concern in those remarkable green eyes. He knew that he was avoiding Shunsui and that it might affect him, but he never would have imagined it would be to this degree.

  
After thinking it through, Jūshirō began to ask “Did you want to talk ab-” He was cut off from the shocked looked on Shunsui’s face that turned to slight guilt. He should have never stopped talking to Shinsui…

  
“Why would you want to listen,” began Shunsui, speaking with little to no emotion, “You’ve been avoiding me for a few weeks now. Think I wouldn’t notice? I just don’t understand what I did that has made you so mad at me. Please… tell me,” Shunsui stopped, realizing how desperate and sad he sounded, wishing that he could go back to being monotone. He swallowed, recollecting his thoughts “Never mind, sorry, you don’t have to tell me anything.” He turned around, wanting nothing more than to flash step home and sleep so he didn’t have to think anymore.

  
“Wait!” Jūshirō exclaimed, not really thinking about what he was going to say. “I was avoiding you because…” He looked at his best friend, the person who has always been by his side and has always looked after him when he was sick. The person who he was in love with. And the person who was keeping something from him. He looked at him and saw how much hurt was in his eyes. Damn. He never wanted to hurt him. It was just… “I know you’ve been keeping something from me,” Jūshirō said while collecting his thoughts, “I could see that you kept trying to hide something from me. And I was hurt. I’ve known you for a very, very long time, you are my best friend… What kind of friend am I if you can’t even tell me something that is clearly bothering you?” Jūshirō looked up, his cheeks a light pink color due to the sharp, chilly wind. He looked… beautiful. Beautiful and sad.

  
“It’s not what you think.” Shunsui had to say something, knowing now that this was his fault. Either he would keep his secret and loose his best friend, or tell him, but still have a chance to stay in Jūshirō’s life. The white haired man wouldn’t cast him aside, he knew, but he would never be able to feel the same. Taking a breath to stable is rapidly beating heart, he said “You are the most important person in my life. And I don’t… can’t lose you, but after I tell you what I’ve been hiding, I will not force you to remain by my side any longer.” Jūshirō looked at him in slight confusion, having no idea what this man is about to tell him, fearing the worst… “I’m in love you. Have been for awhile…” Shunsui chuckles to himself, “Honestly, it’s a little pathetic how long I’ve been in love with you but was too much a coward to say anything to you,” looking at Jūshirō, he knew he had to keep going. “I’ll never stop loving you. I know you won’t be able to return my feelings, and that’s okay. I understand, and that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I’d ruin the best relationship I could ever hope for. That’s what I’ve been keeping from you.”

  
Right after he stopped speaking, a Hell Butterfly came to greet them, bringing dread to both Shinigami’s because the butterflies usually are harbingers of bad news. They looked at each other, silenting promising to continue their conversation later. That being said, Shunsui couldn’t help but filling dejected because of the lack of response he got from the white haired man. Trying to push that to the back of his mind, Shunsui reached for the black-winged creature in order to here the message.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Though the butterfly didn’t bring immediate danger, it certainly didn’t bring any good news. The Head Captain had obtained new information about the traitors and what their plans were. Shunsui didn’t know what he should be thinking. His life, at the moment, is a giant mess. First Jūshirō silently rejected him, then he had the reminder that people whom he used to trust betrayed them and their fellow Shinigami. After a heavy sigh, Shunsui plopped onto a cushioned chair in his house, contemplating if he should break into his secret stock of sake. In the long run, he decided against it, getting drunk would help no one in this solution. After spending hours wondering what he could’ve done differently with Jūshirō, he decided to go to back to the park where he confessed his feelings to the love of his life.

  
“Shunsui! I was just about to go find you…” Jūshirō walked quickly over to where his best friend was. Knowing that what he was about to say would change his relationship with Shunsui, whom he depended for as long as he can remember. Before he could start speaking, Shunsui sighed and started to talk instead.

  
“Listen, I understand that you don’t feel the same, and that’s… fine,” he spoke with a defeated tone. “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you, but I knew if I didn’t, I’d probably lose you… and I can’t. So, I’m sorry, for being selfish.” Shunsui knew that Jūshirō would need some time to get over what he had just told him, he turned to leave him. Jūshirō began to panic, not wanting for the brown haired man to go away. Quickly gathering his thoughts, he spoke.

  
“... I love you, too,” he whispered cautiously. Shunsui looked up at him surprise, not quite believing what the pale man said.

  
“W-what?” Shunsui stuttered. “If you are doing this out of pity, then…”

  
Jūshirō stopped him “Do you really think I would do that? I’ve wanted to tell you I’ve loved you for… a long time, to say the least. I just thought that it would be unrequited, you loving a sick man like myself is….”

  
Shunsui kissed his best friend. After all the longing and overthinking, he finally got to kiss the man he loves you. His lip were softer than he imagined, they were heaven. Jūshirō started breathing a little heavier which led Shunsui to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into the pale man’s mouth. He tasted divine, Shunsui was already becoming an addict on the taste on him.  
Before things could escalate further, Jūshirō broke the kiss, knowing that if they didn’t stop, they would likely be caught in a very compromising position.

  
“I love you,” whispered Jūshirō again.

  
“You will always be the love of my life,” Shunsui whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> Was it horrid? Should I just stop? Any thoughts?


End file.
